Not being able to believe what I'm being told....I am a Vampire!!!
I rode my car and went back home, laid on my bed and kept gazing at the ceiling for a while just trying to understand what’s going on here. Still hearing the doctor's words in my head:” you have what they call the Vampire Disease or Disorder.”
My name is Suzan. A 20 years old student at the faculty of Mass Comm. Since I was a child my skin was sensitive to light but that thing increased dramatically that I can’t go out without a mean of shading to help me avoid the direct contact with the sunlight. Everybody advised me to go and see a doctor but I just hate doctors:S.
Four days ago, the weather was good and the sun was just okay, so I didn't want to miss that, put on the sun block and without putting on a cap or anything I went out and spent the day with my friends and of it was just AWESOME, I had so much fun and to me that was new, it has bee so long when I last had fun. When I returned back home I felt my skin aching, but didn't think that’s it’s a big deal. I put on a moisturizer and when to bed to have a nap. An hour or two later, I woke up and entered the bathroom, looked at the mirror and I saw what I never imagined. There were burn marks on my face, neck and hands. It was then that I decided that it's really time to see a doctor. After examining me, he said that he is not quiet sure of what’s the cause of such burns and so he asked me to make some tests. After doing them I went back to him today. After examining them he looked at me and started explaining what’s wrong with me.
The doctor:” hmmm...well I don't know how nor from where to start.” he paused then continued, “Do you know what Porphyria is??”
Susan with her left eyebrow rose: “Pro...what?? No, I don't know what that is.”
Doctor:” well I assumed that”
If you knew that I wont know what’s that then why did you ask in the first place!!!OMG I just hate you all:S.
The doctor coughed then continued:” Porphyria is a very rare and not a common disease. One out of 200,000 people have it. It’s caused due to some disorders in the heme's enzymes. There are two types of Porphyria; Acute Porphyria and Cutaneous Porphyria. In your case its Cutareous Porphyria causing photosensitivity, blisters, necrosis of skin and gum, itching and swelling. Increase hair growth and change of urine color to reddish or dark brown after exposure to sun and purple after an attack.”
Susan feeling dizzy:”That sounds.....like....something” I didn't understand a word from him actually,” Frankly, all I got is that I have a kind of rare disease and that it, please simply explain again what’s wrong with me, and do you mean by after an attack??What attack???”
Doctor:” Well, you are suffering of what people call...the vampire disorder or the vampire disease. Is caused because of the heme deficiency. Heme is an iron-containing compound used in all our body it is found mostly in the hemoglobin, the oxygen carrier, in our blood.
It causes all the symptoms I told you, being sensitive to light the skin tightens and shrinks. When this occurs around the mouth, the canine teeth appear to be more prominent giving the fangs' look. It also accompanied by depression and alteration in the attitude, I mean a bit aggressive. Porphyric patients crave for blood as they need the heme, so they might attack animals or even humans to drink their blood.”
I was shocked for while then I realized that my mouth was widely opened and of course that made me look silly, so I started to gain control over myself:” and how could I get over that, I mean is there a medicine or something to take?? I mean that’s not just normal and how did I turn out to be like that!!?”
Doctor:” It’s inherited and must come for the two parents, did you know that or noticed it on one of your parents??”
Susan: “No actually they died long ago and I don't know really.”
Doctor:” well unfortunately up till now there is no treatment for the disease itself, but treatment for the symptoms. Also blood injections would be essential each month. You will have to wear long sleeved cloths, hats, gloves, and sun block regularly”
Each extra word increases my shock and makes me feel that am falling in an endless hole. I am not just sick, am turning to be a MONSTER. I thanked the doctor and he told me when will be the next appointment in order to have my first injection. Went back home, laid on the bed thinking; who could ever believe that this was true!?? LOL, I am actually just like angel; a vampire with a soul!!!That was....don’t know what to say, can’t say hilarious because its not but still.... that’s weird. How will I move on with my life!? That is the big question that right now, I don't have an answer for it. How will people accept me like that especially after all the symptoms arise? Oh God...I don't think that people will be scared of me because they think that am a vampire, its stupid of course I wont walk around biting people in their necks and making an army of vampires like in movies, they will be scared only as I will look....scary.....
HEEY, stop thinking like that, I wont look scary or like vamps, I will be just fine, I will take the medication which will prevent the symptoms and so I wont be a vampire, and then I will know how to protect myself from the sun I have always done that. Everything is going to be just fine.....I hope....
Everything was not really fine as I hoped; I have passed this whole week at home, afraid of seeing people and I just lost interest in everything. Even my friends at college called me to see why didn't I go for the whole week, but I just don't know what to tell, oh no big deal, I just turned out to be a vampire, yeah bye c ya tomorrow, that's just....IT SUCKS. Frankly I really need someone to be beside me right now, someone I could tell him what’s wrong with me and helps me to be able to survive. My teeth are becoming a bit yellowish and popping out slightly. I have always wished that I was a guy and I think my dream is coming true as I have to shave my beard now..... It's just disgusting. Thank god still I don't look like vampires, not like those in movies and like those in Buffy the vampire slayer....OMG, lol, for the first time that idea comes to my mind, remembering those vampires now, I think I pity them , they meant no harm, they were just sick....That’s weird. I must move on now, I can’t just give up am still alive and I wont bury myself alive at home. I am just sick and sick people are not freaks, they are normal ordinary people. I must make some changes in my life style and that’s all. Yeah, I can delay all my outings till night, that won’t be a problem. The real problem is college...here is another reason for me to hate waking up early in the morning...oh God, when will I wake up from this nightmare!?
Sun rise means the start of a new day, but for Susan it meant the end of hers. Another week has passed and Susan turned to be a night creature, sleeping all day in a dark room and waking at night to start a new depressing day with nothing to do but think more and feel sad for herself, even getting tempered sometimes and after all feeling lonely more than ever. She kept praying at night for a miracle to help her get out of that situation. A miracle that would make her gain her life back, gain control over it once more. Each day her frustration increases and she becomes more aggressive, that made her even avoid contacting with people more. She open the door for only two reasons, if she is getting out to buy something, having conversations with none and the other reason is paying a bill or something. Her blood injection session is just 2 weeks ahead, that made her feel not really comfortable, to her it was just wrong; humans should not feed on blood. It’s a savage barbarian thing to do.
Days are passing and she is becoming more isolated and prisoned on her own house. What's worse is that she was wishing for her blood injection session to come as fast as possible, she was hungry for blood! Her skin is shrinking and even its decomposing she was dying alive!! She knew she looked scary and she was even losing energy and weaker. She had to use lots and lots of cosmetics in order to look normal, however that large quantities of powder made her look dead.....and that made her feel even more depressed, she was really a living dead.
It was 4 pm; she was asleep when she heard the door bell ring. Collecting her energy she stood up, wore a coat, gloves, a hat a pair of sunglasses and wrapped her face with a scarf and headed slowly to the door. She opened the door and wished that she didn't, it was her friend Diana.
Diana astonished with what she is seeing:” good evening” cleared her throat and added,” I am a friend of Susan and I came to see her.”
Confused, embarrassed and afraid Susan couldn't say a word for a sec, she was relieved that she didn't recognize her, but yet still very sad for the same reason, she needed a friend now more than ever. 3 weeks have almost passed without having a conversation with a single person. then answered:” Oh well......hi my dear am her cousin, she sleeping come on in and I will wake her up for you.”
Diana headed for the living room and Suzan ran to the bathroom, putting all her make up trying to hide her scary look as much as she can. If she wants her friend not to run away before even telling her, she must not look like a zombie.
Going back to Diana:”hey, how are you, missed you so much”
Diana gave her a big bear hug, something Suzan has been wishing for since the day she knew that she was sick, but now she regretted that wish. She was having the weirdest feeling ever, a sensation she would never ever think of!! Her friends' scent was intoxicating for her!!!!She felt dizzy a little bit and that she wanted to....
Diana left her and said:”WHATS WRONG WITH YOU???”
Back to her conscious Suzan focused on her friend's face in disbelief of what she has just felt, a bit afraid of herself and even more disgusted, but Diana's question was even more terrifying to her. What’s wrong with me!!? Isn’t the make up enough?? How did she know that there was something wrong with me!!?
Suzan afraid of the answer:”why are you saying that?? “
Diana with a shock on her face:”WHY AM I SAYING THAT!!! It has been 2 weeks! almost 3 weeks and you are gone. You don't come to college you don't answer your phone!! We are all scared and worried about you. What’s going on with you?
Suzan didn't know what to say and how to tell her the truth!! She didn't want to scare her off, like what if I told her and she ran away from me? That of course won't help at all, but I need to share this with someone. I want to talk with somebody about my misfortune. Okay I will just tell her whatever the consequences. I have nothing to lose, already lost my life.
Suzan looking away from Diana and in a fragile tone:”Diana, I have something I want to talk about.”
Diana:”okay, then just tell me. What’s wrong suzz?? “
Suzan:”well, it's just that am...well am sick”
Diana:”okay now you’re scaring me, what do you mean by sick?? What’s wrong with you girlie??”
Suzan:”hmm...I don't know how to say that, and I don't know how you will be able to handle it. I am really sorry for what I am about to say, but it’s just that I want to share it with someone, I want a friend beside me.”
Diana hugging Suzan:”Suzan, don't worry I have always been beside you, and I will always be, so whatever it is say it and I will understand.”
Diana didn't know that this hug was actually making it even harder for Suzan.
Suzan pulling herself back:” Diana what I am going to say is not really easy to grasp. It took me sometime to believe in it...omg it’s just so much hard than I ever thought. Everyday I wished for someone to talk with and now here you are and I can’t say a word. Don't know how to say it or from where to start.”
Diana:” Calm down, say it as it is, and start from the very beginning.”
Suzan:” well let me ask you a question first, do I look different?”
Diana trying to cheer her up:” beside your Halloween make up, I think you are just fine”
Suzan with a bittered smile:”well then I look different”
She told her the whole thing, the doctor, the blood injections sessions, her last depressing weeks and that she was the one who opened for her.
Diana was in shock and had a pathetic look in her eyes for her friend. She held Suzan's hands and said:” This is the weirdest thing I have ever heard, but what’s worse than that is that you didn't tell me that before. Why?? What did you think I will do?? YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND, and if you thought that I would simply leave you then you are so damn stupid. Who would not like to spend time with a super natural creature!!?” and they both brusted out laughing and crying at the same time.
Diana:” ok now let’s get out and have a walk or something, have lunch some where or so. I mean you do eat food right??”
Suzan with a demonic smile:” that depends on what you mean by food” then added “but am not into the mood of going out, I just lost interest and I don't want to scare people nor walk in the sun when it’s not an emergency. Not in need of more burns”
Diana:” okay, as you like it, then I will make us something to eat.”
As Diana stood up and passed by Suzan, Diana's smell filled Suzan's nose and indulged all her senses. She even had some hallucinations; she was imagining herself jumping on her friend and sucking out her blood from her wrist. Hearing her friend calling on her made her come back to the reality. She shock her head not believing what’s happening to her. THIS CAN'T BE TRUE!!!!!!!!!! She headed to the kitchen where Diana was making them some sandwiches. Involuntary Suzan looked at her wrist then back to her eyes when Diana asked her:” where are you hiding the knives? I have looked everywhere and I just can’t find them”
Suzan headed to some shelf and got her a knife, then walked away from her afraid of what she saw she might do seconds ago.
Diana:” and so when is your next injection session? I want to be with you while you are having it.”
Suzan ashamed of herself:” it’s after tomorrow, but you don't have to bother yourself, its no big deal”
Diana:” I know its not, and that everything will be just fine, but after tomorrow I have nothing to do and I would love to spend the day with you.”
Suzan:”Diana, am glad that I told you, and am happy that I have you now with me. Thanks”
Diana:” don't mention it stupid, we are friends okay and that’s what friends do. So stop saying that.”
Suzan with a faint smile:” okay then finish quickly am hungry, it has been 2 days since I last ate something I just lost the energy and appetite.”
Diana:” Hungry!? So like you don't feed on blood?”
Suzan:”LOL, that's what I thought too:D actually no, the blood thing is not food, its kind of a medication. It makes us feel better, as I told you, the deficiency in the heme thing makes less oxygen to flow in the body and causing all the transformations am hiding with the cosmetics. That’s why we have those sessions.”
Diana:” it’s weird that “WE” and “OUR” thing” and that you are actually using it.....OUCH”
Suzan hurried to Diana to see what’s wrong with her, and she regretted that she did. Diana has cut her finger and it was bleeding a lot of blood. The smell of blood gave Suzan a weird sensation she wanted so much to taste it to stop her pain, she was hungry for a drop of blood for a couple of days but she never thought that she will be that weak to even think of attacking her own best friend.
Diana saw the look in Suzan's eyes when she told her:” Suzz, don't worry, you are strong and I trust you. I know you won't hurt me. Please just get me a bandage or something to wrap my finger with.” she looked into her eyes that where still fixed onto her bleeding finger when she shouted again at her:”SUZAN, go and find me a bandage, NOW!”
Suzan was back again, looked into her friend's eyes with tears in her own, then ran to get her a bandage or plaster or something to stop the bleeding. She was so ashamed of herself and can't believe what has just happened, but deep inside her there was that voice telling her to bite her, you need her blood to survive. She is your friend she will understand. OF COURSE SHE WON’T APPRECIATE ME SUCKING HER BLOOD OUT OF HER VEINS!!!!!SHE WON’T LIKE ME TO KILL HER!!! FRIENDS JUST DONT DO THAT!!! Who said anything about killing her??? You won’t kill her, you will just taste her blood, just a little to stop the pain and have some strength. She will be okay, she will be just fine and she will understand that, you could even tell her that you didn't mean it, or that you were not yourself or something and she will forgive you. That’s of course if she wasn't compassionate enough to feel ad understand what you are going through. STOP IT!! I WONT DO THAT, AM NOT A MONSTER. AM NOT A BEAST. I WONT KILL MY OWN FRIEND.
Suzan got the bandage and went back to Diana to find her talking on the phone:” Oh please come quickly it’s an emergency”
Suzan in a shock:” who are you talking to??”
Diana dropped the phone and said in hesitation:”Suzan, did you find me a bandage??”
Suzan in an angry tome:”Whom were you talking to??”
Diana a bit afraid:”calm down, it’s for your own good suzz. I called for the emergency; you are in a fast need of help now. Didn't you notice!? You were about to bite me!! “
Suzan heading to her feeling hurt:”you said that you trusted me! You said that I am strong. You said everything is going to be okay”
Diana:”Yes I did, but...”
Suzan now crying with rage:” But you were just saying that to make the monster go away till you get some help to shoot it down, RIGHT!!!?”
Diana:”No Suzan, I called coz you are in need of help and blood injection. You need that for your own good.”
Her words made sense to Suzan, she was indeed about to bite her, but yet she felt betrayed and deeply wound. That has increased her anger and frustration. The more she gets angry the more her blood thirst increase that made her lose control and found herself jumping on her friend. Pinned her to the floor and dug her teeth into her neck.
All was green when Suzan opened her eyes. She was sleeping in a bed in a room, not her bed nor her room. She looked beside her to find some medical devices that she doesn't know about and one is attached to her finger. A door was widely opened and a nurse entered and stood by the bed.
Suzan:”what happened? Why am I here?”
The nurse looked at her in a disgusted look:” like you don't remember?”
Suzan:” remember what?”
The nurse in more amazement and disbelief:”you don't remember attacking that innocent poor girl?”
Suzan was shocked to hear that all of that was true. She thought in was just a dream. It was just a nightmare. She then started to remember what happened. I attacked Diana, omg I really did, but I was angry and I didn't mean to suck her blood we were fighting, and I quickly fainted so I don't think I hurt her big. I can’t have done it right?? For sure I have not hurt her seriously!! How did I do that!!! Am I a beast!! I AM!!!!!!!!!
Suzan:” The last thing was that I felt dizzy and fainted”
Nurse to herself:” Unfortunately you just fainted”
Suzan:”Sorry?? What did you say?”
Nurse giving Suzan her back and pressing some buttons in one of the devices:”Savage criminal”
Suzan:” Will you please tell me what happened to Diana my friend??”
Nurse gave out a small cry then said:” AND SHE WAS YOUR FRIEND!!?Oh dear lord, how dare you do what you have done to her!! You have no excuse to kill your own friend. To kill anyone at all.”
Suzan couldn't believe what she has just heard!! Kill!!?? :”You mean that I killed Diana? Like she is dead?? For real?”
Nurse:”for real!!!!! No am kidding with you. OF COURSE FOR REAL!! YOU HAVE KILLED THE POOR LITTLE GIRL!! You kept sucking her blood and then you fainted beside her. She has called for an ambulance before you attack her I assume so they came and found you two like that. By the time they brought you to the hospital, it was too late. She had already lost a lot of blood.”
The words were echoing in Suzan's ears; YOU HAVE KILLED THE POOR LITTLE GIRL!! Suzan laid stiff like a corpse, pale like a ghost.
I killed Diana!!? I killed her!! Is that even possible! Me killing anybody or even anything? I...no...No...It doesn't just make sense of course I didn't kill!? It's just a big ugly nightmare that I didn't wake from yet. Yeah that makes more sense.....
Tears were unavoidable, they ran on her white cheeks as if running from her eyes and the misery it had in them.
How could I do such thing!! I didn't mean it. No I didn't mean to attack her like that. She trusted me...how did I do that to her! She stayed by my side and that how I treated her. That's how I appreciated her for being a good friend.
Bursting in tears the nurse looked at her:” and as if you care, well don't think you are going to fool the detectives with those fake tears. You should try something else.”
Suzan trying to find her voice:” detectives!?”
Nurse:”did you think you were running away of what you did? Yes of course there are two detectives out there waiting for you to wake up and ask you some questions.” then she started to talk to herself again:” I don't know what is that necessary they should just shop of your head” to Suzan again:” I'll go and get them in let's get finished with all of that.”
Suzan's despair and feeling of guilt kept increasing. She buried her face in her palms.
Diana's word kept echoing in her head over ad over:” I know you won't hurt me. I trust you....”
The door was opened once more and 3 men walked in. The doctor in his white coat was talking to the other two who are supposed to be the detectives. The doctor looked friendly with his nice grin while the other two were serious and firm. Suzan was gazing in the nowhere, as if she has lost all her senses. She didn't eve flick when they entered the room.
Doctor pretending that he is not seeing her tears:”hey, I can see that you are getting better now. You have been asleep for 12 hours enough to inject you with...some sort of nutrition.” winking to her, then continued ”let me introduce to you Mr. Adam and Mrs. Joseph, they just want to know a few things about..You know what happened.” then he paused and looked directly into her eyes:”Suzan do you hear me??Are you okay?”
She made a tremendous effort to nod to him.
The man called Adam then interrupted:” Okay then doc, thanks a lot, now we would love to stay alone with her.”
Doctor:”ah, sure” then he left the room.
The detective called Adam looked at Suzan and said:” Now Miss Suzan we want to know everything.”
Suzan's tears were non stopping but new even more tears where flooding from her eyes but yet her face was expressionless. She didn't utter a word that detective Adam had to ask her again:”Miss Suzan, will you tell us what happened?”
Suzan could find neither energy nor her voice to talk about the accident. She fought hard with herself to clear her throat and say:” It's me I killed her I am the one who attacked Diana.”
Joseph looked with astonishment to her then to Adam who gave a small cough ad said:”well we need to know all the details please every single thing that happened from the very first beginning.”
She took a deep breath and started to tell them the whole story. It took her one hour to tell them everything.
Adam finally said as she finished:” well, that’s just fine. Thank you a lot and we will be seeing you again.” he stood up and Joseph copied him, “Unfortunately you will have to stay her for a while for a couple of reasons one of them is that investigations at your house is not finished yet. It's safer for you to stay her until we are done with our work. As for your case we can’t take you with us either. You will stay in here with guards making sure you are...safe.”
I knew what he meant I know what every word really means. I am staying her under their supervision. I can't be taken to prison not for my safety or my own good as he say, but for the safety of the prisoners and them. I am a walking monster craving for blood, staying around people is not a good idea.
They both headed to the door, Adam was already talking in his mobile phone when Joseph looked back at me and said:”thanks for your cooperation. Don't try something foolish, and don't lose hope” he winked at me and they both vanished. As they left, the doctor moved in again, with his lovely friendly smile on his face. He pulled a chair and sat beside me.
Doctor:” Did they bother you??”
I couldn't answer him, but he continued:” sometimes detectives could be a bit harsh. Especially for your case, it's hard for them to understand.”
I crawled hugging my legs with my arms. I had nothing to say, I am already in much pain, cant talk or think. However something in his tone made me feel that there is something behind that friendly conversation. He is trying to tell me something and just making that introduction to make me feel better. I got that feeling that it's something bad really bad and he just don't know from where to start saying it. He doesn't know that to me, there is nothing worse that what happened.
Doctor a bit more serious:” Suzan, there is something you need to know. It's really important.” he found no reaction on my face thus added” it's related to your own safety, your own health.”
Suzan desperately:” and you think I care?”
He raised his eyebrows and added:” what I want to say is that your life is endangered. This incident, that attack if it occurred again it might be life threatening. Another attack like that might be lethal.”
Suzan with bitterness:”then I can't wait for it to happen.”
The doctor was shocked and sat back in his chair in desperation.
Suzan then started talking:” death is the only thing I wish for now. There is nothing worse than killing someone you love; someone has put his trust in you. There is nothing worse than being a monster. I am in deep torture; the feeling of guilt is killing Me.” she paused then continued with misery in her voice and sorrow filling her eyes:” what I can't endure anymore is that I...I felt good about it. I was very furious suddenly, but sucking her blood out was relieving. It was like a tranquilizer to me. I loved Diana, I still do love her, and I would never ever think that I would do such barbarian thing to her. I don't know how did this happen! How could I do such thing to her!! How dare I even like it!!!?”
Doctor took him 2 seconds to talk again:” You are not a monster and it's not your fault. You are sick it's not with your hand, and it's not an easy disease. It's dangerous, tough, hard to live with and even harder to be accepted by others.” he stood and patrolled the room then added “Sometimes we make some huge and stupid mistakes. Things we would never we would do. We then feel as if it's the end of the world and that our whole life is collapsing. But we forget the most basic thing is that we forget. People forget and move on. Life never stops and the world won't be a better place if you’re gone. It has already lost one good girl, Diana, and in no need of losing another. You choose; you could passively just surrender and die; making the entire world believe that porphyric are murderers, monsters, or like you know; vampires. OR you could show everyone that you are as good as they are, and even more human than they are. The whole press is now talking about you. You can...”
Suzan interrupted:” the whole what!!! Press!!!!”
Doctor:” yeah, the have already reached to your place and even making out stories about what happened. By tomorrow, every talk show and every citizen will be talking about you, and believe me, the majority will be against you. Especially that some journalists will exaggerate trying to spice things up. The most important thing is to believe in yourself ad know that they are nothing better than you are. People like to criticize and blame others, that should not bother you.” he approached me and said “and now you need to get some rest. You have already suffered enough for one day. Sleep tight.” then he departed.
Although his words can't simply make me not feel disgusted with myself, but it did comfort me somehow or made me feel better. At least he made me stop crying. Yet nothing has changed nor will, but he is right; I need to sleep for a while.
The bright beams of sunlight woke me up. It seemed to me like I have been asleep for ages. I opened my eyes to see a large beautiful bouquet of roses beside me. It smelled as good as it looked. Beside it I found an envelope. I opened it and found a letter in it.
Hope you are doing well ad getting better.
You don't know me but your news are all over the cables. We knew what happened and we understand, we have all been into this before. A layer has been sent to you to get you out of this case, so don't everything will be just great. When the case is over and you become free to go, we will welcome you to join us. It'll much better and safer for you.
Thus get well soon; we are all waiting for you.
….............!!!I had to read it 3 times to grasp what it was. What the hell is that!!! Every sentence made me want to ask lots of questions. Who and what was that!!!”You don't know me” then why didn't you tell me who you are?? And for who does the “WE” stands for?? Why did he r they sent me a layer?? Where am I to join them!!? And why is it safer for me to join them!!!!? Then and idea stroke me like the lightening!!!OMG is that even possible!!!?
I didn't have time to think any longer as I was interrupted by the nurse, who showed that she loves me very much, opening the door and standing by it saying:”You have a visitor, I hope that you could have good control over yourself, as I was about to bite him myself” then she looked outside and softened her voice:”come on in Mr. Andrew.”
Then a gentleman in his late 20s entered. He was tall, white, with silky brown hair and sparkling brown eyes. Wearing a nice blue suit, he looked at me with a nice grin that showed his brilliant teeth. He approached to shake hands with me and said:” Good morning, my name is Andrew.” then he pointed to the letter that I was still holding in my hands:”I think you might have been expecting me.”
I looked at the letter, realized that he must be the lawyer, whom I-don't-know-who sent me. Then said:” actually I didn't and I don't understand what’s going on.”
He soot back in the chair unbuttoned his jacket and started explaining:” As I told you, my name is Andrew 28 years old and I am a lawyer. 5 years ago, I met that wonderful girl, she was 19 by then. I felt in love with her, but she never showed me any feelings toward me. One day I confronted her with my feelings and asked her for a reason for not liking me. She said that she loved me from the first beginning, but she can't have a relationship with anyone because she was porphyric. By the end of the same month, we got married.”I thought to myself:”the nurse won't be glad with that. He continued” A year after that, an 18 years old guy came to me asking me to become his lawyer as he had an accident just like yours. From that day on, my wife and I decided to help anyone who have the same incident. Surprisingly, we have had many similar cases all over the world, and now we are like a big family living in the suburbs where no one can annoy us. So when we heard the news, we knew that a new family member was in danger. That’s why I am here now to defend you, and then take you with me to see the rest of us and how peacefully and happily we live.”
From reading the letter I expected something like that, but yet hearing his story was kind of shocking to me. There are others like me!! Making some sort of a secret community. It sounds so much like movies.
They even want me to go and join them!! Join a bunch of draculas?? as if am not one of them:S:(
Andrew interrupted me:” so why are you so quite?”
S:”....Coz I just can't believe what I just heard, but still I don't know now what to believe and what not to believe, what's true and what’s fiction. The whole NORMAL world that I know is collapsing in front of my eyes. It's not that easy, and I just can't let you defend me when am sure that I am a murderer. I want to be sentenced to death, which will relief me from the feeling of guilt that I am having now.”
A:”You have all the right to feel confused, but you should not be so harsh on yourself. You didn't attack her because you wanted to hurt her or because you’re evil. There was no one by your side to guide you, explain and support you in what you are going through. You are a victim as well, the doctors specifies just one injection per month which is not enough. In addition to that the medications that make you furious and depressed most f the time, just kills one's soul by time. No one can understand what you are going through except someone like you. They are judging you and saying that you are a criminal but don't let them screw your mind. Always remember, you are a victim as well.”
His words where magical, the calmed me down a bit, made me feel relieved. As if I needed those words to make me feel better about myself.
Yet, Diana's image is still in my mind and the sense of guilt is hard to get rid off.
A:” I don't think that it's easy for you to get over this now, or to totally believe in what am telling you. All am asking for now is to trust me. You need to have another chance and I will give you one.” he stood and added:” okay, now it's time for me to go to the police station to make some work and see when the trial will be. Now don't think of anything you're going to be alright. I almost forgot, here is my phone number in case you needed anything. I'll be back to you by noon.” then he departed.
These are the longest two days I ever had. Yesterday was the accident but I feel like it was ages ago. Lots of event that I can not contain lots of emotions and confusion. The this whole secret community of prophyric thing and how fast they reached me, It's just unbelievable. That Andrew also sounded so sure that he will get me out of this situation; I think this is not his first case of that kind. What about after that?? What if am out and set free with no charges, how am I to continue with my life?? How will people accept me and deal with me without being either afraid or disgusted!? Will I really join that secret tribe?? I don't know them how am I going to live with them?? Am I ready for such change and risk?
The nurse dashed in interrupting me again:S. She had that weird grin on her face, holding a newspaper and said with joy:” Look, It's all about you, the headlines are all about you.” and she threw the paper at me.
I graped it. To my shock, the paper was opened on the page of crimes and accidents. And so am a criminal officially!! However I knew that, and I said that to myself many times; seeing it in the newspaper like that made me a little angry. My pride was publicly hurt, and that's something I didn't like. The nurse noticed that from the expression on my face thus she said:” don't get so much mad yet, wait until you read what's written. It'll get even better.” and she made a devilish acidic laugh, more like a snore.
Why is she so lame??? It’s weird that evil witch what's wrong with her and what have I done to her to treat me like that:S!!
What I was reading made me forget all about the nurse and nearly all about everything.
Yesterday after noon, the most outrageous, barbarian, savage crime took place in an apartment down town. Where lived in it a 20 years old student who pretended to be lovely, friendly and kind in order to hide her true evil nature. Yesterday, she invited her victim, her best friend t her flat. She let her friend in and when she found the right moment, she attacked her like an animal, biting her like a beast, and sucking her blood till the poor little girl passed away. After doing her crime, the filthy bloodsucker called the emergency calling for help, as if she had not done her unforgivable deed. She is now kept in a hospital near the crime scene, till the investigations are finished.
Personally I don't know why they are keeping her still alive; she is dangerous and must be getting rid off.
I couldn't keep on reading that was more than enough. Rage was tarring me apart. How could he write that?? That’s not even the truth, not even near to it. I am not pretending, I am not evil, AND ABOVE ALL, I AM OT A BLOODSUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanted to tare the paper into pieces and even kill that stupid journalists and crazy nurse. I wanted to scream out loud telling everyone who believes in this shit that NONE OF THIS IS REAL!!! I wanted to speak up and defend myself.
I AM NOT A MONSTER!!!!!!!!
My face turned red, the nurse then realized what I might do in that state. Thus, she quickly got a needle, injected me with and I started not to feel anything then went to a deep calm sleep.
A while after that, I started to hear voices as if I was dreaming. I could recognize whose voices are these.....It's the doctor.......??...yes it's him talking to the nurse, yes it's them.
Doctor in a harsh voice:” Why did you do that??? What were you thinking when you gave her that paper?? What an irresponsible childish behavior. Don't know you know that another anger attack like that and she might die. If that has happened, you would have been now the murdered, the cold blooded criminal.” He took a deep breath then said looking at Suzan's body that is lying on the bed still:” this patient is no longer yours; you will be moved from my department. I don't want you with me and two days will be cut off your salary.”
Nurse:” No please doc, I won't do this again, I didn't mean it. Please forgive me”
Doctor:” You didn't show her any mercy, why are you asking me for it now? It's over, just go now.”
As the nurse ran out of the room Andrew walked in asked the doctor about what happened, they sat together and the doctor told him everything. Then they started discussing Suzan's health state. As they finished their chat, she woke up but not able to fully open her eyes she said in a feeble voice:” I am not a monster.”
The doctor and Andrew approached her each on one side of the bed.
Doctor:” No little girl you are not”
S: “I want to prove it”
A:” We will, don't worry as I told you. Everything is going just as I want. We will win that trail and you won't feel a thing. It'll be a very short period that will pass as you blink your eyes. No worried”
Doc:”Yes don't worry; all you need now is to get some rest. Sleep, tomorrow I think will be a long day for you.”
I didn't even hear if he said anything more than that or not, and what he meant by a long day; I was already asleep.
I feel like I have been asleep for ages, and it was nice to feel so. I slowly opened my eyes to see the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. It was a face of an angel dressed all in white and she was smiling at me. She then said with her sweet melodious voice:”Good morning, how do you feel today?”
Suzan still astonished by her charm:”I am fine...I think”
The pretty woman’s smile broadened showing her gorgeous teeth:”It’s great to hear that. I am your new nurse by the way.”
N:”yes, is there a problem with that??”
S:”Problem!!! This is the best thing that has happened to me since the accident. The nurse I had was pretty weird. She hated me so much and I have no idea why.
N:”Nah, don’t say that. She is a bit aggressive with everybody, but deep inside she is very kind.”
S:”yeah, very kind that she would kill me if she got the chance.”
N:”Oh, don’t say so. Any way I am here with you in case you needed anything.” She was about to move when she added:”you almost made me forgot! Mr. Andrew was here, he dropped by and left you some of your cloths; he took permission from the investigation team at your house. He wants you to be ready by 11. He said that he managed to make your trial be today at 12 pm.”
Suzan in shock:”WHAT!!! My trial!! Today!!How did he do that? Why? I can’t, I am just not ready for that now.”
N:”Hey no worries, you will do just fine, but right now you better get ready; it’s 10:15 already.”
She helped me put on my clothes and by 10:45 the room’s door was knocking. She opened to find Andrew and she let him in.
Andrew:”hey, you look way much better in these clothes rather than the hospital doted dress. Hope you liked my choice.”
S:”yeah thanks, after all they are my cloths.”The three of us laughed.
Andrew sat till I fixed my hair put my make up and hat on, then the both of us walked out of the door. To my surprise, I saw a police officer standing by the door of my room.
A:”well, you’re a suspect after all. Instead of having you into custody, the left two guards in here; don’t know where the other one is right now.”
S:”that’s weird. So, why didn’t you tell me about that the trial is today?”
A:”I didn’t know till this morning, but what difference will that make to you?”
S:”what difference!?Simply am not ready! I can’t really grasp the fact that right now I’m heading to the court!! I don’t know what to say or do.”
A:”don’t worry you won’t need to say or do anything; I will do all the talking. All am asking from you is to sit there convinced that you are not guilty and you have the right for a second chance.”
We strode out of the hospital’s main door. A car was waiting for us already. We got in and the driver instantly started driving. I kept looking out of the window, watching the people. How happy, sad, busy or not they are. At a cross road the traffic light went red and we had to stop. By the corner, two young ladies where running to each other with their arms wide opened. They hugged each other; they were holding each one another very strongly which made me feel that they will fuse together. Involuntarily tears dropped from my eyes. I felt Andrew’s hand holding mine and saying:”don’t think like that, I told you; you are good as they are. Remember, you are NOT a monster. You deserve a chance.”
I wiped away my tears, and thank god the car started moving again. 20 minutes later, we stopped again and we were in front of an enormous building. It is our destination indeed. I felt petrified; that my legs could not left me up or help me get out of the car. Andrew again encouraged me and pulled me gently out. So this is it, where my life could end or start depending on just one word from the judge.
It was 11:45 when we reached the court room. It was already filled with people and photographers. The moment we entered, people started yelling at me and photographers kept shooting me with their cameras. I could feel in the air the anger and hatred that filled their hearts towards me. Guards came and walked me in to a chair beside me sat Andrew. I thought I will stand behind the bars of the cage, but I it seemed to be that Andrew is real good. On the other side, I saw the two detective sitting and looking silently at me, they seemed not so happy; especially Adam. That also added to my confidence in Andrew and that he could get me out of this easily as he says. In the first row, in front of the detectives, I saw Diana’ parents with a lawyer. They looked horrible, especially her mother. Seeing them like that hurt me the most. Knowing how much pain I must have caused them with my unforgivable deed.
The shouts and flashes didn’t stop until the judge entered and everybody stood up. He seemed to be a wise firm man in his middle fifties. He slowly reached his chair, and as he sat down, the rest of the people got seated again.
The judge opened a file in front of him ad started reading from it:”The case number 14111980 about the 2nd degree murder.” He paused, looked at the audience then looked at me and started directly through my eyes from above his glasses for a couple of seconds, then moved to the parents and said:”Your lawyer may start.”
The father held his wife between his arms tightly as her tears started to drift over again. The lawyer moved forward and started his speech:”The day before yesterday, our victim Diana was worried for the absence of her best friend Suzan. She went to make sure that she was fine. Diana’s good well and intentions was the reason why she is now dead. If she was selfish enough so as not to think of her friend and not to waste her time by that visit, she would have been with her family now enjoying her time and we wouldn’t have been her right now. Unlike her best friend sitting with us right now, she wasn’t selfish. Her friend was so selfish that she didn’t give herself time to think about what she was about to do. She killed her own friend because she was blinded by her desires. These parents deserved to have their child with them, and to live a normal life; a life she had deprived them from. They are now not asking for anything but justice which lies in seeing that merciless creature dead.” He said his last words pointing at me with his finger, then he turned to look at me, and then went to have a seat.
It’s Andrew’s time to make his speech; he stepped forward and started talking:”Losing a young pretty girl like Diana is something that make us all sad. I can’t imagine how her parents are dealing with that loss everyday, every second of their lives.” He looked to them and said:”God be with you” then he continued:” But isn’t the loss of one enough?? We all already know that Suzan have not done what she did because she wanted to. We all know that she was under the effect of the drugs the doctor prescribed for her in order to decrease and ease her suffering. The one who attacked Diana is not the one sitting right now with us. We can’t classify this as a 2nd degree murder, it’s a 3rd degree. Suzan had no intentions nor prepared for attacking her friend. She is not a blood thirsty creature as some call her. In fact, anger attacks like the one she had with Diana might have cost her, her own life. An anger attack kills prophyric patients. If a mentally disturbed person kills, he is put into a hospital for mental disorders. What about people like her?? Isn’t she a patient with mental ad physical problems too; suffering each day with not only her lethal disease but with the true merciless bloodsuckers? Those who just like to blame others for anything. Will killing Suzan bring Diana back to life?? Or will it makes us live in a better world?? Does not she deserve another chance?? To have somehow a normal life! To be respected ad treated as a human not like an animal!? Suzan in not a murderer she is just a victim like Diana, a victim of a pathetic sick society.” He came back and sat beside me. I looked at him and wanted to thank him, but he didn’t look back at me, his eyes were fixed on the judge.
There were some talk between the three parties; Andrew the parents’ lawyer ad the judge. Mentioning some facts and evidences and some terms in the law; things I don’t understand. I kept thinking, or may I say, day dreaming about being sentenced as not guilty starting a new life; joining maybe Andrew and his wife. What if am said to be guilty then?? How will I endure the prison?? Or will they just…get it done!? it is just creepy to think about it. I looked back at Diana’s parents. Her mother wiping her tears with a handkerchief, and the parent looked firm and so angry. He looked at me with a sad bitter cruel look that I couldn’t stand and I looked quickly away. I wanted to tell them that I feel as much sorry as they are, I miss her too and I regret what I have done everyday.
Andrew came back by me and the judge said:” this case is very sensitive and a verdict must be decided with care, within an hour you will know what is decided.” He stood up and the rest of us copied and moved out from the same door he came in from.
Suzan:”So what do you think??”
Andrew:” Don’t worry, I told you it’s going to be okay”
Suzan:” great, I need to talk with Diana’s parents.”
A:”I don’t think this is a very good idea.”
S:”I know they hate me, but I owe them an apology.”I didn’t wait to hear his opinion and rushed behind them as they were getting out of the court room. I started calling for them:”Oh please stay I want to tell you something.”
Both stopped and looked back at me with the same looks they had; ager, sorrow and frustration.
S:”I just wanted to apologize for what happened, I would never ever think of hurting her”
The father in an acidic tone:”Oh but you did”
S in a weak embarrassed tone:”and am sorry for that sir, all am asking for is to forgive me, maybe not now, but later on when things get better.”
Father letting go of his wife and now yelling:”GET BETTER!!! THINGS WILL EVER GET BETTER!! Parents are not supposed to bury their children; it’s not how things are like. Because of you we will never get better, we will never have a normal life and now you are asking for forgiveness!!? How dare you come and ask us to do that!?”
The man’s face turned dark red, his wife ad lawyer tried to calm him down. I got really afraid ad had a weird sensation telling me that something bad will happen; real bad. Andrew came by my side pulling me away, but I was pinned to the ground when the father said:” All I want right now; is to see you dead, stained with your own filthy blood.” Then he quickly pulled a revolver from his jacket’s pocket pointed at me. The guards came running towards him to stop him, but they were already late. I felt like a big sharp rod has penetrated my belly. I looked down to it to find a stream of blood running out of me. My legs were trembling and I felt dizzy, maybe it’s because of seeing that much of blood or maybe because am simply….dying!! I heard some fade screams and felt Andrew holding me and laying me on the ground asking for an ambulance. He looked at me with sorrow. I held him so tightly as I was so afraid of what I might face now…on the other side. I needed someone to help and support me there. I forgot all about the accident, all about the trial the parents, Diana and about everything, all I am thinking of right now that I never thought of or put into my considerations for these days is that… I am afraid of what am about to face…..