Monday, May 14, 2012


The most mind tricking thing ever is to try to describe or define an emotion, like what is it like to feel angry? Or define exactly what does it mean to be afraid. However all emotions are indescribable but of course the number one emotion above all that is confusing everybody and consuming their whole time thinking about is love.

I watched and read about great philosophers, men of literature, artists and scientists; that love cannot be described as it differs from one to another and on what situation.

The thing is when the word love is mentioned we think of only “THAT” love people are all disparately seeking right now, but that’s not the only case, nor what I will be talking about in specific.

Love is more beyond feeling close to someone, or having a friend dear to your heart. Love is not about giving and having in turn or unconditionally giving or those platonic words! I am not in love with someone if I will take a bullet for him, else bodyguards are love addicts. It’s not feeling that we can’t live without that one we love, or how are orphans all over the globe are coping? All of these are exaggerations as people love to love.

You see, we love our family; our parents, brothers and sisters. We love them so much no matter what with no reasons. We just love them unconditionally! I think that is the blood bonding they say about.

For me that was an enough explanation, God made us feel that way towards our families. But what I have been really wondering about is the love we feel towards anyone else! Since we don’t have that bond then we can’t feel that much or intense love. I believed in that, that (maybe just me) it doesn’t make sense nor possible to love someone so deep and for a long time. I always said to myself no way I will get bored or simply that love will fade by time. I asked myself what if we disagreed what if we struggled or even had a fight! Love will disappear and frustration and disgust will invade my heart.

Love is just an emotion like hatred; we can’t hate someone for a lifetime. If you think it’s possible then you don’t know what hatred is.

I am not guessing, but I experienced that already.

Days ago I knew what love is, and really is cannot be defined, but love will make you do things you have never done before. What you think is wrong, embarrassing, not You! Things you couldn’t do with others whom you love too. Not the things we watch in movies, not actions nor feelings towards others, but feelings or thoughts about yourself you didn’t have before.

I was hurt…deeply hurt

Normally, I don’t get hurt :D normally I don’t care, and if so; I get angry from the one who hurt me and not tell him that I was hurt and I don’t settle by any mean and I don’t accept apologies, I no longer care about that person. Yes I am evil and my dark side…is dark.

The thing is that I didn’t care this time that I was hurt as much as I cared about who hurt me. I was angry at that person so much I couldn’t look directly into his eyes nor face as I was frustrated from, but I wanted him to stay near by my side. For the first time I want to talk to the one who hurt me, to blame him, make him realize that. Not to make him feel guilty or sorry or to make him feel bad, but simply coz I wanted to talk to someone, a friend to listen. When I am mad at anyone I used to go and talk about it with that person I love. I never ever thought that if I got md at that same person I would go and tell him that. I thought I will never be that mad or I will simply let it go, coz it will be very pathetic begging for care, or so I thought.

But it wasn’t that way.

I feel content, happy, strong, and whole.

I know lots of people and I love dozens of them I truly do. We shared happy crazy moments and hard ones too, but we managed to stay together no matter what.

But I never thought that I can love anyone more than that, there is some other connection, other than blood. I don’t know what is it, but I am living it.

Love is strong.

I am in love with my friends.

Thank god for that.

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