Monday, May 14, 2012

My Teddy Bear

Today I went shopping. While walking in the mall, something caught my attention. I stopped walking and stood fixed in my place looking with amazement and my eyes fixed on those tiny brown little eyes, or more accurately buttons. It was a teddy bear, yeah a teddy bear!! I like toys, okay, but not to that extent!! The last time a toy caught my attention was like….I don’t even remember, but it was years ago. There is something in that little teddy that made me want to have it so bad, and if you are asking what is it!?.................................. I don’t really know. 

I put my hands into my pockets hoping to find enough money to buy this beautiful little thing. I kept digging in my pockets deep down, as if my hands were diving searching for the key of the treasure box. 10...20, that will barely take me back home. I just can’t leave that sweet creature, I simply can’t, I want it so bad. A sudden grin grew on my face, I remember now that technology ROCKS, I have my ATM card. Hope filled me up; I pushed the door and entered with a great feeling of triumph and power. My eyes fixed on it, I was just about to stretch my hand to grasp it when a small kid came and took it from the shelf and hugged it with his arms. I have never liked children, and now I HATE THEM!! All that I was thinking of is that I WANT IT, IT’S MINE!! I hated to see it in someone else arms. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down seeing that little devil moving away with MY bear and heading to the cashier. Come on, I won’t use it really or play with it. The kid would benefit more from it…it would delight him. HEY!! DON’T I DESERVE TO BE DELIGHTED TOO!!! I SAW IT BEFORE HIM!! I don’t even know how he sneaked his way and got it before me! I don’t want to be wise nor kind; I want that bear now!! I took from the shelf another bear of the same type and ran to the boy, convinced him that the one in his hands was not as good as this one. They little kid was so gentle and polite and switched the bear easily with me. His attitude made me feel really………………………stupid; how cares!! I have my bear in my hands now...FINALLY. I held my new friend in my hand tenderly, as if afraid to hurt it. I looked into its eyes they seemed to want me they way I do, as if it belongs to me and only me, that made me feel exhilarated. 

Back home, I put my dear new friend beside me on bed and kept looking at it with admiration. I cared for it more than anything else I had before. I treated it so preciously as if it was a living thing; I don’t even care that much for most humans. 

Days are passing and my obsession with my teddy is inevitable. However I don’t spend time with it, I can’t let anyone play with it either. It’s mine and only mine. After a while, I looked at it and discovered that the sparkle I used to see in its eyes has vanished. Deep down it made me doubt if it still wants me or not!? But I believe yes, my bear can’t just not want me any longer...!! I remembered my granny’s words she used to tell me when I neglect my toys. She told me that they feel sad for not being played with. I want to decide to let go, but it’s so hard. I started letting my younger sister play with it (in my presence of course), then gradually things became better. I trusted leaving it around others however I didn’t like that, but I couldn’t endure being so selfish like that. I must try to change, to live and let live. 

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